My House Debra

Emily plays in the second violin section of The Orchestra at Temple Square. She is fun, and happy; cheers people on and has a wonderful attitude and spirit about her.


I read your post today Emily. It was a bit sad. The clock winding down for that special segment of our lives when we get to wake up everyday and know just exactly what we are supposed to do. I was up at 6:00 am each morning I put the breakfast together for my sweet family. I always tried to do something a bit different each day. Boxed cereal was not the norm. After breakfast we gathered the family around for scripture study and prayer. Before we turned the lights out and finished the day: we once again gathered around the couch and shared some time together with the Lord. This daily ritual seemed to be the glue that held me together. It seemed to provide peace and a sense of progression with those special people in my life that I loved the most. I knew who I was. I was trying to be the kind of a Mom that was building something to last forever. Childhood days were fun and happy for the most part. There was lots to do: concerts and games to watch, scouting activities to plan for, Christmases that were special, and WORK that was a must!! Daily chores simply must be a part of the routine as well. My children thought that's all I knew, but in reality I was just trying to get them to learn that all of us have duties and we must be responsible and perform them, and to the best of our ability I might add. If they wouldn't have resisted; I'm sure it would have been much easier and accomplished without half the emotion and sometimes stress. Life goes on... the children grew, I must say; the teenage years were rather turbulent. I wasn't as laid back and fun as you appear to be Emily, but I was quite determined to be the best Mom I could be and I prayed over my little flock with great faith and zeal. I made it through the rocky times and lived to see my children move forward, progress and do amazing things. My boys all served missions and made me proud. My daughter, well, she is a powerhouse of strength and talent. She can do anything! I have been simply awestruck with what they can do and the strength that is within them.
But one day... the clock winds down. Pretty soon you wake up and wonder: what am I supposed to do now? Maybe for some the answer comes quite readily. Maybe some Mom's have been gloriously awaiting that day when they can pursue some goal that they had postponed when family came. For me: I suddenly didn't even know who I was! On top of that, I was going through that weird season of a woman's life they call; "the change". So for a few years now my identity has been a bit foggy! But time passes on and one day you're a Grandma. Well, that's an identity word, you think? I held on to that one for dear life. Sweet little children once again come into your life. It's not the same as motherhood, it doesn't seem as personally directed to you, but it's real and it feels good. Everyone knows that Grandma's are very special! I'm happier now and doing quite fine. You move along and struggle, but you discover that there are "things to do, promises to keep, and miles to go before you sleep". Your life is still very needed! There's a lot of adjusting but in the end you never really put yourself back together. You just keep creating; you have new things to do in the building of that wonderful family that will last forever.